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| Humor That Is Actually Funny! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Finger Telephone: A guy walks into a bar and he sits at the counter. After a few minutes he starts to talk into his hand as if he were using a cellphone. The bartender sees the guy and says: "Hey what are you doing talking to your hand like that, you're going to get beat up!" So the guy says:"No,no,no,no,no,it really works, here try it!" So the bartender starts talking into his hand and when he sees that it works his exclaims: "WOW it really works but hey, you still shouldn't do that you might get beat up!" After a while the guy stands up and tells the bartender that he needs to use the bathroom. So the bartender waits 15 minutes and the guy doesn't come out so he waits another 30 minutes and the guy still doesn't come out so the bartender goes in thinking that the guy is probably dead. When he gets in he sees the guy on the floor with toilet paper up his butt and he asks if the guy is all right. The guy says:" NO,no,no,no,no,no, you have it all wrong, I'm just faxing!!!" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| sand-blastin blondes | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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One Day A Blonde was walking up and down the streets of San Fransisco when a man told her that she could sand-blast his porch for $100. Of course she accepted his offer.The man then walks into his house and tells his wife about the deal.She replies "Oh you're so mean! Our porch wraps around the whole house!" After about 10 minutes, the Blonde walks into the house and hands the sand-blaster back to the man.The man gives her the hundred dollars in suspicion. He then asks "how did you finish so fast?" She replies "Well I get right to my work and concentrate hard. Oh, yeah,and I almost forgot to tell you, It's a Ferrarri not a porch!" | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| miscellaneos | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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One morning a blonde is at her new job. She walks over to a soda machine and puts in a quarter and a soda comes out.She starts putting in quarter after quarter. The sodas start piling onto the floor when another employeewalks over. He says "Hey can I have one?" and the Blonde replies "Hey, back off buddy I'm winning here!" | ~Insults~ 1)you're so fat when you sat on a rainbow skittles started falling out. 2)you're so fat when you heard it was chilly outside, you got a bowl! 3)you're so ugly I would rather shave my dogs butt and tell it to walk backwards rather than looking at your face. 4)you're so fat when you jump off a diving board while wearing a yellow and orange bathing suit people think the sun is falling. 5)you're so poor that for Christmas your parents get you a video of other people playing with toys. 6)you're so poor when you're neighbor came over to talk, he touched a penny and you said "Hey, don't touch my life savings!" PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED BY THE CONTENT OF MY PAGE! I DO NOT DIRECT JOKES OR INSULTS AT MY VIEWERS!
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